Meghan Markle and Kate Middleton’s friendship never stood a chance

• Kate Middleton and Meghan Markle's friendship has made headlines in the British tabloids since 2017.
• It was derailed by the media much like Princess Diana and Sarah Ferguson's friendship was.
• The media held Middleton and Markle to different standards and used photos as "proof" of tension.
• Visit Insider's homepage for more stories.

Since they first met in 2017, the friendship between Meghan Markle and Kate Middleton has been major news in the British press.

They went from being part of the "Fab Four" to "feuding" sisters-in-law in record time. Photographs of the duchesses together were analyzed for any signs of tension, and a story claiming that Markle made Middleton cry over a flower-girl dress spread like wildfire.

Two women being pitted against each other by the press is a tale as old as time – one that Markle called out during her two-hour interview with Oprah Winfrey on Sunday.

"If you love me, you don't have to hate her," Markle said. "And if you love her, you don't have to hate me."

The story of Markle and Middleton's relationship – both to each other and the press – has remarkably similar parallels to that of Princess Diana and Sarah Ferguson, whose friendship was torn apart by the British tabloids.

And for Markle and Middleton, the issue was only compounded by the racist coverage Markle received, something no other royal has faced before.

Famous women, from celebrities like Britney and Christina to royals like Diana and Fergie, have long been pitted against one another by the media

There are dozens of examples of famous so-called "feuds" between celebrity women that were either invented or exacerbated by the media. Within the royal family itself, there's a clear parallel in Princess Diana and Sarah Ferguson.

Unlike Markle and Middleton, Diana and Fergie - as she was first known in school, then later in the press - were friends before either of them became a royal.

Fergie was at Diana's wedding to Prince Charles in 1981, and it was Diana who introduced Fergie to Prince Andrew - and later helped her crash his bachelor party before the two tied the knot in 1986 - turning the old friends into sisters-in-law and palace confidantes.

At first, much as it seemed with Markle and Middleton, Diana and Fergie (who was made the Duchess of York following her marriage to Andrew) seemed to enjoy having each other to lean on for both public and private royal commitments.

"From the start, humor lay at the core of my staunch friendship with Diana," Fergie wrote in her 2001 book "What I Know Now: Simple Lessons Learned the Hard Way."

"In public we'd poke fun at the pomposity around us. In private we'd banter in rapid fire, to see who had the quicker wit. The memory I cherish most, though, is Diana's laughter at our regular Sunday lunches, when it was just family, and we could be ourselves," she added.

Much like Middleton and Markle were dubbed the "Fab Four" as they were seen out with William and Harry, Fergie and Diana received their own nickname from the press: "The Merry Wives of Windsor."

Fergie and Diana's friendship didn't last long, thanks in large part to press coverage of them

Not even a year passed since Fergie and Andrew's wedding before the stress of being compared to each other - both within the family and on the front pages of British tabloids - began to take its toll on Fergie and Diana.

Fergie was hailed as a down-to-earth addition at Buckingham Palace by the media, and even Diana admitted she was shocked - and "terribly jealous" - at how easily her friend fit into the royal family.

"Suddenly, everybody said, 'Oh, isn't Fergie marvelous, a breath of fresh air - thank God she's more fun than Diana,'" the princess said in secret tapes that were used by biographer Andrew Morton to write the 1992 book "Diana: In Her Own Words."

"I felt terribly insecure," she added. "I thought maybe I ought to be like Fergie. And my husband said, 'I wish you would be like Fergie, all jolly. Why are you always so miserable?'"

But as Diana's star grew both at home and abroad, Fergie reportedly found it hard to swallow the media's constant comparisons of the sisters-in-law.

"It became fat Fergie against wonderful Diana," The Sun journalist Harry Arnold told Tina Brown in "The Diana Chronicles."

During her own interview with Winfrey in 1996, Fergie - who was nicknamed the "Duchess of Pork" by the tabloids - called the British press "completely and utterly cruel and abusive."

Fergie and Diana's friendship continued to have ups and downs as they went through their own divorces and tried to forge paths away from Buckingham Palace. But when Princess Diana died in 1996, they hadn't spoken to each other for over a year.

"I never knew the reason, except that once Diana got something stuck in her head, it stuck there for all," Fergie wrote in her 2011 book "Finding Sarah."

"Diana's death left a God-sized hole in my heart," she added. "I loved her so much."

More recently, amid continued reports in the British tabloids of a rift between Markle and Middleton, Fergie penned an open letter in 2019 that touched on how the media treated her and Diana.

"Women, in particular, are constantly pitted against and compared with each other in a way that reminds me of how people tried to portray Diana and me all the time as rivals," she wrote in Hello! Magazine. "I believe that it's time to take a stand. It's not acceptable to pit women against one another all the time."

That same year, Channel 5 in the UK aired a documentary titled "Kate v. Meghan: Princesses At War?" In 2020, the same channel released "Fergie vs. Diana: Royal Wives At War."

Middleton and Markle were friendly at first, and their relationship was positively portrayed by the media

Prince Harry told Winfrey that his entire family, including Middleton, embraced Markle when he introduced them to his new girlfriend in 2017.

That year, when Harry and Markle announced their engagement in November, Middleton told the Associated Press that she and Prince William were "absolutely thrilled."

Two months after Markle and Harry's wedding in May 2018, the Duchesses of Sussex and Cambridge were seen smiling and laughing together at Wimbledon - their first public outing together without their husbands.

And in October, photographers snapped the "Fab Four" happily sitting next to each other at Princess Eugenie's wedding.

But the dynamic between Markle and Middleton changed after Harry and Markle's Australia tour in October 2018

Prince Harry told Winfrey that there was a shift in the couple's relationships with the royal family after their successful Australia tour, which Harry called "the first time that the family got to see how incredible [Markle] is at the job."

A month after Markle and Harry's Australia tour, it was reported that Harry and Markle planned to move out of Kensington Palace - where Prince William and Middleton live - and into Frogmore Cottage so they could have more space for their baby on the way.

Days later, a story in The Telegraph claimed that the Duchess of Sussex had made Middleton cry over a flower-girl dress on the week of her wedding. It said their relationship was at a "breaking point."

Markle told Winfrey that it was actually Middleton who had made her cry, adding that Middleton "owned it, and she apologized, and she brought me flowers and a note apologizing."

The Duchess of Sussex also told Winfrey that "everyone in the institution" knew the story in the papers wasn't true, and that it had been Middleton who made her cry. But they never spoke out to refute the rumors, which she called the "beginning of a character assassination."

"That was the turning point," Markle added. "That was when everything changed."

Then, in December 2018, tabloids released another story claiming that Markle and Middleton had gotten into a fight after the Duchess of Sussex allegedly yelled at a staff member. This time, Kensington Palace released a statement saying "this never happened."

Markle was criticized for doing many of the same things Middleton was praised for

Royal commentator Kristen Meinzer pointed to a number of headlines that show how Markle was criticized for doing the same things that Middleton was praised for.

When Markle wore wedges during her Australia tour, she was accused of breaking royal protocol by InStyle. Months later, the same magazine praised Middleton for wearing wedges as "the most versatile shoes of the summer."

"Meghan is subjected to double standards that are blatant in their intent to frame her as an ignorant, uncouth, and unfit for the aristocracy, much less the royal family," Meinzer told Insider.

Middleton also received glowing headlines when she was photographed cradling her pregnant belly, while The Sun ran a headline calling Markle "Baby Bump Barbie."

"I don't think Meghan would be facing any of these double standards if she were white," Meinzer said. "Simply put, the press loves attacking Meghan because she is not like the rest of the aristocracy. Unlike them, she's an American, a self-made woman, and black."

The press also began to use photos of the two together as evidence of the supposed tension

Markle and Middleton were photographed together in subsequent months at various events. And royal experts told Insider's Mikhaila Friel how certain pictures were used to push the narrative of a rift.

"The British press picks up something, the way they look at each other, it's 'Oh, they hate each other,"' Marlene Koenig, a royal author and expert on British and European royalty, said of photos from the Commonwealth Day service in 2019. "But that's a photo frame. You go to the next photo frame and they're smiling."

Meinzer pointed out two different photos of Markle and Middleton watching Prince Harry and Prince William play polo.

The photo that ran in many of the papers shows Markle and Middleton looking away from each other.

Meinzer said the photo "seemed to be implying that while everyone was at the same event, Meghan was either being ignored by her in-laws or choosing to ignore them."

But a rare photo from the event shows Middleton and Markle interacting with each other and a playful Prince Louis.

"I love these photos so much," Meinzer said. "At the time of this event, I remember vividly all the papers publishing photos of Kate playing with her children and separate photos of Meghan walking around all alone, holding young Archie."

"These photos show otherwise. They are together! Kate is laughing! Louis is reaching for his aunt and cousin! They are having fun," she added.

But when it came time for Harry and Markle's last official engagement as senior royal family members in March 2020, there clearly was tension between the former "Fab Four."

The couples arrived and left separately, and didn't even speak or look at each other during the entire event.

The tension could have been made worse by the royal family's reported insistence that Markle's treatment in the press was no worse than what other royal women, like Middleton, faced

Middleton has had her share of critical headlines, but Markle pointed out to Winfrey that they're "not the same."

"Kate was called 'Waity Katie' waiting to marry William. While I imagine that was really hard, and I do, I can't picture what that felt like. This is not the same," Markle said in the interview that aired Sunday. "And if a member of this family will comfortably say, 'We've all had to deal with things that are rude.' Rude and racist are not the same."

"And equally, you've also had a press team that goes on the record to defend you, especially when they know something's not true. And that didn't happen for us," she added.

We may never really know if it was the press that first sparked tension between Markle and Middleton - much as it did with Diana and Fergie - or if the incessant headlines pitting the two duchesses against each other merely added fuel to flames that were already burning between the "Fab Four" as Harry and William struggled with brotherly issues of their own.

But Markle made it clear on Sunday that stories like the fight over the flower-girl dress only made her feel more alienated from the royal family as she was relentlessly attacked by the press, a situation that the duchess said left her feeling suicidal and hopeless.

Fergie and Diana never had a chance to mend their broken friendship. It remains to be seen if the royal family - and the press - might give Markle and Middleton a fighting chance.